Don't end the friendship as well.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by here again?" - Anonymous

Over the past month or so since we started Men Are Here, i've heard sob stories, fairy tales, tales of woe..you name it.

Funnily enough though, across all the experiences i've absorbed from countless friends, one fact holds true.

The joy of finding someone to love, and the pain of losing that same person somewhere down the line.

All good things must come to an end they say. Instead of banging your head on that wall of yours, tell yourself this -

You don't find love everyday, but everyday you shared with that person until the break up occured, you were in love. Count your lucky stars that you had the opportunity to find someone to love. Now go and paint that wall of yours. Yeah you.

Don't regret the break up, and don't blame it on anyone. Sometimes break ups happen, and in retrospect, usually we're all the better for it.

Don't hate the person you used to love. Try your very best to remain friends, remember the good times and let the bad ones fade away as distant memories.

Last week..

During my *ehem* sick days, I had the luxury of having two very caring friends who, in spite of the fact that i was sick, bitched about my health, told me what to do and what not to do and constantly found reasons for why i was sick. Yet, one of them brought me to the doctor and the other brought me out for lunch. Yeah, they bitched about my smoking and complained on how i never watched what i eat...while they both brought me out, and I, being the typical dick, made faces...but i couldn't have done it without them.

The moral and emotional support that you guys gave me kept me from going over into depression mode (even though i didn't look like i was..). The most ironic part of it all was that, in spite of our differences before, we get along "reasonably" well these days.

Oh, did i forget to mention? Lol. I also used to date them.

Yeah, the break ups were horrid, but time heals all wounds and here I am (years later) still slightly sick (from the fever, not the Break up!), and i thank god that i am blessed with these two very lovely souls. You girls are amazing, and I am humbled that you're still around whenever i'm down and out. Thank you so very much; you both know who you are. :)

So boys and girls, remember that even though the line between love and hate is paper thin..the choice to hate is ultimately up to you. We're all human; and forgiveness is the most important aspect of being human.

We take a short break while i say...

Damn. I'm sorry if i seem chauvanistic at this point...but Maria, Maria....(sing with me now...)

The Dilemna - The Best Friend and The Girl...

I know the title sounds like one of the themes from a movie that we hate to watch because it draws on our very manly heart strings
and sometimes shows our vulnerabilities... something like watching Lion King for the first time at 18 and torn between crying when Mufasa
dies and remaining loyal to your manly duties aka offering your shoulder to your date to cry on...

Back to the title... you the movies you hate to watch coz you know where the story is going... the person who best personifies you is going
to suffer a fate worse than death - your indestructible cpt kablooey [insert your superhero name here] who can duck a ridiculous amount of
bullets and escape mind-blowing situations will fall victim to what? A WOMAN - you know it happens even the ultimate James Bond fall prey to
them - i sometimes call them Men's Kryptonite... and your screen self is reduce to nothing in an instance begging for his life etc... i cant
bear to continue but you know the tale....

the only twist is on this movie... you hero never returns to his once glorious status... he is damaged goods.... thats the kind of movie im taking abt and you have to watch it to the pitiful death of the credits... and you are powerless to change the channel or walk out of the
movie that you paid to go see....

your whole day is fcuked up after that i mean why would they wanna make a movie where they guy doesnt get his girl in the end? why would the best friend character suddenly prance in... and in a moment of weakness take the source of your strength? * aside i watch a lot of black
movies... you know the brown suger types and best man genres where Hollywood endings a quickly traded in for harsh realities - ironic isnt it you go to the movies only to see the signs that are happening in your own love life...

well b4 i get all of you lost in the ravings and ranting of an almost mad black colored man (there is also a movie along those lines - 'the diary of a madd black woman') and damn was she madd but that’s a tale for another time...

so i guess i am currently staring in a movie that has been told in as many versions are there are pirate DVDs at a pasamalam (minus the porn uncle passes to you for being a good customer) i am yet to act in one of those and besides eddie chandra the director of such classics
is on hiatus...

and now i am torn between:

a) being selfish and telling my sidekick in life that he should give me the first chance coz i saw her first hehe sounds sooo childish

or

b) being the bigger man aka better friend aka high road taker (and i must add lonely!) and say go for it... and good luck what crap is that.


but of course it aint that simple... life never is - you have to complicate the equation and not by adding more women (which i wouldnt mind at this stage - 1 for you and 2 for me...) just joking coz i know there are some amazing women who read this stuff and i don’t want them
thinking what they thing about guys like me (and wht the hell is that meant to be anyway...) i mean i have rarely used the phrase girls like you - save for when i was 12 and a girl too my lunch money - and b4 you laugh i did grow up in terrains similar to those in the LionKing where its survival for the fittest aka biggest and lets just say that applies to all genders ALL! painful flashback but i did get to share my lunch with a real sweetheart who turned out to be my first girlfren - apparently a week ago she suffered the same fate... OR AT LEAST THATS WHAT I TOLDPPLE UNTIL NOW... can you keep my secret? anyway for those lovely ladies that's why i put my cuttest pic on earth - that's the real me - that's the kinda guy i am so watch it when you use that phrase coz now you know who you will be hurting - look into those eyes...

final paragraph of rantings... life is a biacth, then you die so in the end you're and in place A and the girl and best friend are in place B
see the complications and no amount of webcamming and other applications of Broadband are going to change that...

i should change the title of this to the ravings of a madd black wanna be movie star who lives in the real Hollywood... but im tired and my 1st blogging attempt has left me drained.... come to think abt it i don’t even know how to post this - you may never read this damn what a waste... i gotta call eddie he can fix this - he's kinda my long distance bob the builder and not in a weird way that you maybe thinking - had to add that i finally posted this on my own! well with all that advice that comes on the help page - but it was all me!

...so until we next meet stay safe heroes...

ma.li.ki

Single vs. Hitched

"I don't think I'm interested in finding someone right now," said a friend. "I've been single for 4 years now, and I still don't find a need to fill this 'empty' void I have inside of me."

He takes a sip of his iced tea, relaxes his posture and lights a cigarette.

"I barely have time for myself these days, even my friends are saying I don't make time for them. How am I going to make time for a girlfriend if i had one?" he said, a puff of smoke trailing his words.

We continued our conversation which lasted for a good couple of hours before he decided that he had appointments to attend to, and he was already running late.

On my way back home, I reflected on his perspective on relationships. He enjoys his freedom, his bachelor pad, his right to spend on whatever he wants to when he wants to and the right to see and date anyone he chooses too, without succumbing to the pressure of society or for that matter, social commitments.

We've all been in relationships. We all know and remember the happiness and joy of sharing your emotions, secrets and stories with that special someone, but rarely do we remember the constant emotional strain that goes hand in hand with any kind of serious commitment(s).

Being with someone is great because you'll always have someone to follow you whenever you have to do your daily routines, or watch a movie with whenever you're bored. It's an antidote to the daily monotony which defines everyone's life. Yeah, once in a while you go on a wild adventure or have sex on some mango tree for the world to see, but generally your daily love life is in some ironic sense...just another extension of your monotony.

Look at it this way, 80% of couples do all these things on a daily basis:

1. Call one another at least once. Usually it's once in the morning and one before you go to bed.
2. Say I love you at least once.
3. Ask mundane things like, "What did you have for lunch?" or "Oh really, i didn't know you had a cousin in Pakistan.."
4. Gossip about other people since you've both run out of things to talk about.
5. Tiny little fights where the man is typically insensitive and the woman is hyper sensitive.

To me, that is the essence of monotony. A good relationship is like a well oiled machine, it runs like clockwork. When that starts to happen, you tend to take each other for granted. And that's when a good relationship turns sour.

To be frank, this post does seem like i'm bashing to whole idea of 'being together', but it's not; I love being in relationships. Being in love is the greatest feeling in the world, but that doesn't mean that if you're single you aren't loved. That's bullshit.

Oh well, i think that's enough of my monologue. I should move on to the whole purpose of this post. The difference between being single and being hitched. I'm not doing the pros vs cons version, i'm just doing the pros.

Bachelorhood

• You have all the time in the world to do anything and everything you've always wanted to do.
• You spend all the time laughing your heart out with friends who are either in the same boat as you, or is looking to charter another one. Speedboat ke, Yacht ke..
• You get to turn your phone off without worrying that someone is trying to call you.
• You get to come back home as late or as early as you want. No pressure. No "Eh where are you! You 'miang S.O.B' tak habis habis carik perempuan lain!"
• You tend to dress up more, and sometimes even during occasions when you don't have to, like going to Carrefour to buy some ikan pari. Never know who you might see yeah? Lol.
• You get to go to the movies alone and find out if there are other sad sods out there just like you. "Psst..look at that guy...so lonely yeah, sumore watching love story, haih so kesian.."

Coupledom

• You have someone to wake you up in the morning like some alarm clock. "Sayang, bangun lah, you'll be late for work." You pretend to be awake, then right after she puts the phone down, you go straight back to bed.
• You have someone to share an ice cream with. "Eh Sayang, can't you get your own, un hygenic lah. Haish, dah lah tak gosok gigi.."
• You have someone to follow you to TGV or GSC whenever there's a blockbuster. The guys generally pick the scary movies so that their girls can 'cuddle' with them during 'horrific' moments. If your man invites you to go and watch "Sembilu 2005", start looking for someone new.
• You have someone to kiss and cuddle whenever it's cold outside. If he takes off his shirt after 5 minutes..you know he wants something else. "Panas lah pulak Sayang, i take off my shirt lah..and my pants too...."
• You have someone to think of whenever there's a great love song on the radio. "Oooh baby, i just heard this beautiful love song and i straight away thought of you! What? What's it called? Oh 'Don't Lie' by Black Eyed Peas."

So there you have it. Being single..being a couple...they're all the same. The only thing you have to remember is that you should appreciate whatever moments you may have; be it together or alone, because every moment...every single one of them... is special.

The Ideal Girl

There isn't one.

No, you're not reading a non-blog. There isn't an ideal girl. At least not for me.

I've always believed that you can fall for anyone given the right circumstances. It just takes a little effort on our side to get the snowball effect going.

I've fallen for waitresses (twice), friends, neighbours, strangers...the lot, you name it i've done it.

It's safe to say, it's been an interesting journey for each and every one of them.

What constitutes a dream girl anyway?

Does she have to be pretty? A good listener? A great conversationalist? A person who lights up the room whenever she walks in with her glowing personality?

I suppose it has to be ALL the above, since after all, we are talking about a DREAM girl here, ie the PERFECT girl.

No such thing. A perfect guy or girl doesn't exist.

Everyone has their baggages. We all have past experiences which we lug around us all the bloody time from one relationship to another. Girls keep saying, "Oh you were so different when you were courting me," and the typical male response would be
"What? I'm the same now as i've ever been," as he stretches over to scratch his balls.

Girls, Men are just like you when it comes to the courting game. We put out more than we can ever hope to deliver. Of course we seem sweet at the beginning, just as you seem so demure and in control of your emotions when we're in our 'woo' mode.

But, BAM the first month we're together and all hell breaks loose. We become 'insensitive' to you, and you turn on your 'PMS-ultra mode' on us.

The reason for this is simple. We keep putting up unnatural expectations towards one another.

There are no ideal relationships and there definately are no ideal girls or guys.

Just enjoy what you have while you have it. And for those of us still cruising the singles straits, fret not, we're no worse off. Go out, enjoy the view and take in as much knowledge about the opposite sex as you can, while you're still single.

As for me, I have no false hopes of finding an ideal girl. There isn't one.

There's only the realisation that we all need to give and take in extremis, when and only when we both realise this unshakable truth, will we be able to truly enjoy the fruits of our labour. Or labour of love in this instance.

There may not be an ideal relationship, but don't let that stop you from trying.

Shoot for the stars, if you miss and hit the moon instead, it's still high up in the sky right?

Care for a Date?

You wanna meet the girl/guy of your dreams? Well, before you get there you need to iron out your networking issues. Because the rule of thumb is, the more you know,the more you'll get to know.

1. Ask your doorman if he knows of any singles in your building. Find out their schedules so that you can DELIBERATELY bump into them. Introduce yourself and invite your neighbour over for a drink.

2. Hang out with people who like people. Stop being friends with loners- they put a damper on your views of dating, love and marriage.

3. Find a role model. Look for a person who has successfully navigated the dating scene and is happily enjoying his/her love life. Study actions, attitudes and style. Copy what appeals to you and put it to work in your life.

Now, if you've done one or all of the above, you should be on your way to a first date. What do you do then?

1. Learn to budget wisely. Dating can be expensive. You need clothes, dinners, movies..etc. Set up a budget that will suit you.

2. When you date people with incomes that are higher than yours, stop feeling intimidated. Remember that you aren't in a competition to see who can have the biggest paycheck. Just enjoy someone else's good fortune.

3. If you're a girl, respect your date's finances by not ordering the most expensive item on the menu. Be wary of a date who doesn't remember your budget when you are paying for the date. This works BOTH ways, guy or girl.

4. Date people who respect you. If your love interest doesn't respect you, get rid of him/her today. If you're not getting respect, ask yourself why you would date such a person and learn from your answer.

5. Beware of singles who always run late for their dates. These people are sending signals that their own schedule is much more important than you. Everyone runs late from time to time, but if she/he is habitually late, give her/him the boot.

Other considerations...

1. Date a different race. More and more people are ignoring the race issue when they date.

2. Date people from a different social world than your own.

3. Call a long-lost childhood friend. Who knows what may come of it? :)

4. Reevaluate your idea of the perfect date as you age. A great date for you at twenty may not seem like a winner at 23. Make sure that the date you try to find is the one you want at this time in your life.

5. Don't try to change your date to suit your wants and desires. Accept your date as who he or she is. If your date isn't acceptable to you, move on to another relationship. It's hard enough to change yourself; it's almost impossible to change someone else.
I know, I've tried.

So there you have it. For you girls (and boys) out there, chin up, your ideal date might be just around the corner.
Have a gander, you might just like..what you see. :)

L is for the way you Look at me...

Love is a subject which has been told and retold countless times, across arbitrary boundaries of gender, race or religion.

We never tire of listening to how new love is constantly unfolding around us. People fall in love every day even though they know that being in love could end up being the hardest and most painful thing they would ever do.

But finding someone to love, makes it all worthwhile. All of a sudden, even the smallest gesture of wiping her lips of some curry makes you smile. Old songs start to make sense; even the act of sharing an ice cream becomes an epic story of Mahabrata proportions.

Everytime your phone rings you hope that it's her. Even if it's a measly text message, your whole day lights up. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I enjoy the small nuances of falling in love. I used to date someone who kept leaving me "Easter Eggs" for me to find much later, and every single time i stumbled upon it, there she was - smiling from ear to ear.

"I love you honey, but a month to find that note?" she would snigger.

The act of falling in love is the greatest natural beauty afforded to us. Days are brighter, food tastes better, heck..even jokes are funnier.

Ladies..Men are just as desperately in love with you..as you are with them. We may seem strong, brash and crude, but deep down inside we're just as hopelessly in love. We too enjoy the smaller acts of holding hands, the calls in the wee hours just for an "I love you,", the midnight strolls around the neighbourhood, the way you give us massages whenever we had a hard day at work....We're people too, and we're just as emotional as the next person.

Sex isn't everything. We may be single tracked at times, but sex isn't the only element that makes a relationship work. It is a plus, but it isn't a requirement. We may be sexist at times, but we all know that NO MAN can honestly say that he can get 'some' without the implicit permission from his partner.

If a girl says, "No, I'm not in the mood.." that means you're definately better off watching Jenna Jameson getting her freak on.

So ladies, please don't tell us that we confuse sex with love. We know the difference.

Being in love is the best feeling in the world and we all feel the same way, boy or girl.

Go out, find love and if you're lucky, fall... in love.

Question we seek!!

I don't know why certain girls wouldnt take me seriously, they don't look me as the boyfriend material, but just a Friend type!!...

What do girls sees in guys!?... How can we be your boyfriend type and not otherwise?!..

Do you really want a gentleman?.. or just a crook?... But from what I see, the girls rather go for the "crook" type kinda guys!!..

How do definate Boyfriend (let me make it clear..the lovey dovey type) with " I rather want you to be my friend" type?!

Please.. do us a favor....let us know what it is!!...

My perspective of LOVE

Eddie has been pesturing me to write some here and it's hard for me to write when you are told to write, but after yesterday, an inspiration has made me want to write.

You have read what is Hot Vs Hit list, about marriage and also about Ezar's anger towards his girlfriend (probably) on how to Fight fairly (the guy's way). I'm just gonna write about something called LOVE.

Most women sees guys liking them just because they (the guys) just want to get into the girl's pants and nothing about relationship. Well women, you are absolutely wrong. Most guys do care about Relationships. They do Love their woman, but maybe in the different way. Guys nowadays do listen to their partners tentively, and some are very observant.

Yesterday, a friend of ours (Eddie and myself) asked, how do you know if a guy loves me or not?....

Well I asked her back, do you need him to tell you " I love you" gazzilion times just to let you know he loves you!?...

Guys say I love you in many ways. We don't really have to say it, but its for the women to know and to notice. If he do loves you, he might treat you well. He might also make sure you look nice by getting you some pretty clothes. Maybe just a smile when he sees you its another form of saying I Love you to you..

Being together and enjoying each others company is also saying I love you, and he is proud to have a partner like her. I don't meant a "trophy girl", but he's not afraid to walk beside her or scared if one of his friend would say " is this your girlfriend??" ... He would proudly say, " Yes" with a smile.

Understanding guys on Love is just easy. If he calls you every now and then, he misses you dearly. Just asking how is your day and such is just a way of him expressing I care for you. He wishes to be with her spending the whole day together but he can't because of responsibilities to work. Well someone has to get the money to pay the bills right?... But that's beside the point,

But Yes, I have to admit, Guy's Egos are enormous!!... Its hard for us to say I LOVE YOU in front of you. But dont worry, we will eventually say it in front of you.

Well... Don't think guys don't love you if he doesn't say it, we do. But just in a different way..

iDAN

Masturbation. It's good.

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest.

They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men's cancer risk.

Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits.

They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s.

Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

Previous research has suggested that a high number of sexual partners or a high level of sexual activity increased a man's risk of developing prostate cancer by up to 40%.

But the Australian researchers who carried out this study suggest the early work missed the protective effect of ejaculation because it focussed on sexual intercourse, with its associated risk of STIs.

Graham Giles, of the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, who led the research team, told New Scientist: "Had we been able to remove ejaculations associated with sexual intercourse, there should have been an even stronger protective effect of ejaculations."

The researchers suggest that ejaculating may prevent carcinogens accumulating in the prostate gland.

The prostate provides a fluid into semen during ejaculation that activates sperm and prevents them sticking together.

The fluid has high concentrations of substances including potassium, zinc, fructose and citric acid, which are drawn from the bloodstream.

But animal studies have shown carcinogens such as 3-methylchloranthrene, found in cigarette smoke, are also concentrated in the prostate.

Dr Giles said fewer ejaculations may mean the carcinogens build up.

"It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them."

A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to "flush out" carcinogens, reduce a woman's risk of the disease, New Scientist reports.

Another theory put forward by the researchers is that ejaculation may induce prostate glands to mature fully, making them less susceptible to carcinogens.

Dr Chris Hiley, head of policy and research at the UK's Prostate Cancer Charity, told BBC News Online: "This is a plausible theory."

She added: "In the same way the human papillomavirus has been linked to cervical cancer, there is a suggestion that bits of prostate cancer may be related to a sexually transmitted infection earlier in life."

Anthony Smith, deputy director of the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society at La Trobe University in Melbourne, said the research could affect the kind of lifestyle advice doctors give to patients.

"Masturbation is part of people's sexual repertoire.

"If these findings hold up, then it's perfectly reasonable that men should be encouraged to masturbate," he said.

Eddie: Hahahaha...what do you guys think?

Marriage

Right, let me highlight up front that I grew up with a bunch of men in my family, so I am undeniably supercharged with mouthfuls of testosterone.

Yet, despite only having two strong women in my family (my lovely sister and my loving mother) we (the men) were constantly inundated with the Malaysian perception of how women past a certain age were treated in our society.

“Women are like Milk, they have a shelf life.” My aunt told my mom when I was 13. My sister was 19 at the time.

I had no idea what they were babbling on at the time, it wasn’t till I was 19 myself at my brother’s party did I realize what they meant by that.

“You see Eddie, we men are like fine wine,” said my brother’s friend, his mouth reeking of alcohol.

“The older we get, the better we taste. Take my girlfriend over there, hot yeah?”

I glanced over and not ten feet away from me by the poolside, was this slender looking lady who had three strapping young men fumbling over one another like sex starved Neanderthals at a cave party, just to get this vixen her a drink.

“The difference between me and her is obvious. She’s physically attractive I’ll give her that much, and I’ve got flabs rolling out every which way, yet she’s out with me and not them. You want to know what makes me attractive?” He asked me as he took a sip of his drink, but before he could answer me, he gave me a wink and brazenly walked up to his girl, whispered something in her ear and whisked her away to the amazement of those three strapping young men.

Over the noise and clamor of the party, one of the boys voiced his general disdain and disappointment.

“How can a guy like that, get a girl like THAT?” was the general question.

Because Asshole, I thought to myself, he drives a 360 Spider, and you, my blue eyed friend can’t even muscle enough money to change his tires.

At that time, I thought that his success had made him attractive.

It wasn’t. Success made him appealing, I’ll give him that.

But it was his charisma, his confidence and above all else, his charm that made him such a ‘ladies’ man.

For years he played the circuit. Whenever he threw one of his outlandish parties, he always had a new girl to keep him company.

Today, he’s married with a daughter. He looks much, much older. The glow in his eyes, that used to sparkle like stars on a moonless sky, was now filled with emptiness.

Marriage, he told me, was the anti thesis to everything he believed in. He succumbed to marriage because it was ‘time’.

You see, the idea of commitment isn’t societal. These constraints are sexual. The idea that everyone should have one partner at any one time with an intention of monogamy is a precedent, above all other connotations in the context of marriage or relationships.

But for women, once they reach a certain age, marriage is the final and absolute outcome for whatever relationships they are in. Commitment is their trump card to tie their men down.

“No, no honey, no more shaggy waggy. Not until you agree to marry me. Here’s the date, venue and list of invites. Just sign here, what? No, no, you can bring…four of your friends.”

Men on the other hand, cringe at the idea of marriage at such an early age. Unless they’ve been p***y whipped of course. Then they’ll say yes. God knows how many times I’ve agreed to marry the women I’ve date. And 10 out of 10, I actually believed it. Want to know what persuasion really is? Look under “Women” in your Webster’s.

Sometimes I wonder if marriage is even something I’m looking forward to. The whole sanctity of marriage has been desecrated time and time again by tales of divorces, custody rights and wealth divisions. So how can you tell me, with an honest face that you think you’ll be any different? How many break ups have we all endured? What makes you think marriage is going to change any of that?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to get married, I do… but I don’t know if I’ll marry for the right reasons.

And what’s the point of marrying someone, if you don’t even know the true reasons behind your intentions?

Yours
Eddie

Hit List vs Hot List

Ah, the heated topic of any fireside conversation. Okay not really fireside, more like expensive restaurants with good lounge music accompanied by horribly rude waiters.

Ha-ha.

Okay look, this topic actually popped up quite recently while i was having an engaging conversation with an ex, and i slipped and said that the girl I had a thing for wasn't on my hit list.

She heard wrongly, and asked me, "Why isn't she on your hot list?"

Huh? I said hit list not hot list.

She thought i was being coy, and asked me to define the difference between Hit and Hot.

Damn, i hate being under the spotlight. Lol. So in that short period of time, I formulated what I, in my weirdly skewed perspective, viewed to be the difference between these two words which ends and begins with the same letter(s).

So here for the world to see, is a guide for what I find to be the difference between Hit & Hot

HIT LIST

1. Connection. That is what makes a girl jump straight from just being hot (hot is not a pre-condition for BEAUTY..hot could just simply be...hot), to being definately primed for a drive-by hitting.
2. Substance. She has to have more than just good looks on her books. Her gray matter, matters. The conversations matter so much more than the boob tube she has on.
3. Elegance. She knows how to carry herself. Knows how to pronounce dishes on the menu without making a fool of herself, or the man she's dating. Foie gras....try it...let it roll of your tongue....
4. Commitment. She has to have a history of being a committed girlfriend, with no black marks whatsoever on being scandalous whilst under the influence. Or under her Man.
5. Loving. She can be hard as bones, but when the time comes for her to be a lady, she can and will be. We men don't like having girlfriends who consistently flex their muscles at the dinner table, whilst manhandling a plate of "bloody as hell" Sirloin Steak.

HOT LIST

1. Drop dead gorgeous. The girl has to be undeniably gorgeous, not only to the man who finds her hot, but to his friends as well. Especially his friends.
2. Sensual. Yes, men like girls on their hot list to be as sensuous and as raunchy as this month's Playmate of the Month.
3. Perfect 10. She has to have a body like Sharpova, toned, trim and tanned.
4. Flirty. The girl knows she's hot, therefore the more flirty she is, the better. Men will swoon like monkeys when these HOT girls give them all the attention. Yes we are primates after all.
5. Touchy-feely. Ah, the clincher. This is what makes a hot girl HOT and unlikely to be on HIT. You see men like their hot girls hot, but are unlikely to end up dating them. Don't get me wrong, hot girls aren't sluts per se, neither are they skanky, but HOT girls are usually just for 'dating' purposes only.

I must iron out at this point that this is a guide and nothing more. I'm not saying that all HOT girls will always end up being on the reserve stands to be paraded like a trophy, but it's just that HOT isn't always a main criteria.

Some hot girls do end up becoming hit girls if they play their cards right, and lucky is the man who finds such a girl.

Some hit girls end up just being hot girls because the chemistry goes away after the 2nd date.

It happens.

All in all, we men have different versions of how we view the women we date or would LOVE to date. And that's why I'd love to hear from my co-writers on this matter.

Hee. :)