Single vs. Hitched

"I don't think I'm interested in finding someone right now," said a friend. "I've been single for 4 years now, and I still don't find a need to fill this 'empty' void I have inside of me."

He takes a sip of his iced tea, relaxes his posture and lights a cigarette.

"I barely have time for myself these days, even my friends are saying I don't make time for them. How am I going to make time for a girlfriend if i had one?" he said, a puff of smoke trailing his words.

We continued our conversation which lasted for a good couple of hours before he decided that he had appointments to attend to, and he was already running late.

On my way back home, I reflected on his perspective on relationships. He enjoys his freedom, his bachelor pad, his right to spend on whatever he wants to when he wants to and the right to see and date anyone he chooses too, without succumbing to the pressure of society or for that matter, social commitments.

We've all been in relationships. We all know and remember the happiness and joy of sharing your emotions, secrets and stories with that special someone, but rarely do we remember the constant emotional strain that goes hand in hand with any kind of serious commitment(s).

Being with someone is great because you'll always have someone to follow you whenever you have to do your daily routines, or watch a movie with whenever you're bored. It's an antidote to the daily monotony which defines everyone's life. Yeah, once in a while you go on a wild adventure or have sex on some mango tree for the world to see, but generally your daily love life is in some ironic sense...just another extension of your monotony.

Look at it this way, 80% of couples do all these things on a daily basis:

1. Call one another at least once. Usually it's once in the morning and one before you go to bed.
2. Say I love you at least once.
3. Ask mundane things like, "What did you have for lunch?" or "Oh really, i didn't know you had a cousin in Pakistan.."
4. Gossip about other people since you've both run out of things to talk about.
5. Tiny little fights where the man is typically insensitive and the woman is hyper sensitive.

To me, that is the essence of monotony. A good relationship is like a well oiled machine, it runs like clockwork. When that starts to happen, you tend to take each other for granted. And that's when a good relationship turns sour.

To be frank, this post does seem like i'm bashing to whole idea of 'being together', but it's not; I love being in relationships. Being in love is the greatest feeling in the world, but that doesn't mean that if you're single you aren't loved. That's bullshit.

Oh well, i think that's enough of my monologue. I should move on to the whole purpose of this post. The difference between being single and being hitched. I'm not doing the pros vs cons version, i'm just doing the pros.

Bachelorhood

• You have all the time in the world to do anything and everything you've always wanted to do.
• You spend all the time laughing your heart out with friends who are either in the same boat as you, or is looking to charter another one. Speedboat ke, Yacht ke..
• You get to turn your phone off without worrying that someone is trying to call you.
• You get to come back home as late or as early as you want. No pressure. No "Eh where are you! You 'miang S.O.B' tak habis habis carik perempuan lain!"
• You tend to dress up more, and sometimes even during occasions when you don't have to, like going to Carrefour to buy some ikan pari. Never know who you might see yeah? Lol.
• You get to go to the movies alone and find out if there are other sad sods out there just like you. "Psst..look at that guy...so lonely yeah, sumore watching love story, haih so kesian.."

Coupledom

• You have someone to wake you up in the morning like some alarm clock. "Sayang, bangun lah, you'll be late for work." You pretend to be awake, then right after she puts the phone down, you go straight back to bed.
• You have someone to share an ice cream with. "Eh Sayang, can't you get your own, un hygenic lah. Haish, dah lah tak gosok gigi.."
• You have someone to follow you to TGV or GSC whenever there's a blockbuster. The guys generally pick the scary movies so that their girls can 'cuddle' with them during 'horrific' moments. If your man invites you to go and watch "Sembilu 2005", start looking for someone new.
• You have someone to kiss and cuddle whenever it's cold outside. If he takes off his shirt after 5 minutes..you know he wants something else. "Panas lah pulak Sayang, i take off my shirt lah..and my pants too...."
• You have someone to think of whenever there's a great love song on the radio. "Oooh baby, i just heard this beautiful love song and i straight away thought of you! What? What's it called? Oh 'Don't Lie' by Black Eyed Peas."

So there you have it. Being single..being a couple...they're all the same. The only thing you have to remember is that you should appreciate whatever moments you may have; be it together or alone, because every moment...every single one of them... is special.