Candleburn

I heard this song over the radio tonight..which is funny because I never listen to the radio. I don't know why I decided to flip the switch and bask in the emptiness of a DJ-less radio station. The junk that floods through our stations these days...it could cause a political upheaval much worse than the one that caused a certain European country to go GaaGaa recently.

I let the soothing light of my Mac shine through the empty crevices that make up my room at night. It radiates an eerie glow...not unlike the way a shade of light from a dying bulb resonates over its obsidian surroundings. A song ends and another begins...into a blur of cacophony which engulfs every sense..even the sixth. Alternative, Jazz, Moody Ambience...they all become one never ending wave of lyrical and musical madness. Just as I was about to drift into a world of calm serenity...a piano played....and a rough, almost tired sounding man sang over the rhythmic notes which suit the soft, almost sleepy beat like an old, worn T-shirt on a cold,windy November night. He said:

"On Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night for someone,
she lets herself go,
like an angel in the snow,
she lays down on her back,
down on her back - she goes..

take me over when I'm gone,
take me over make me strong,
take me over when I'm gone,
will they burn for me...?

on Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design,
she waits - for someone,
tonight she'll give herself away,
she'll break apart all by herself,
its so easy how we come undone..

take me over when I'm gone,
take me over make me strong,
take me over when I'm gone,
will they burn for me...?

she pulls me in - strips me down
she pulls me in - turns me out
she pulls me in - strips me down

take me over when I'm gone,
take me over make me strong,
take me over when I'm gone,
will they burn for me...?"

"Candleburn"
Dishwalla

And it moved me. It reminded me of a girl I used to know. She had a heart of gold and a spirit that could never be broken. She believed in the goodness of people. She knew that everyone deserved a cracking chance at happiness and that sadness is just a state of mind. She was an amazing individual in every single way. And not a day goes by that I don't think of her, and how she always knew how to make even the darkest day..just that little bit brighter.
I hope our candle burns just as bright for you, wherever you may be.
Just as they did when you were around.

City of Blinding Lights

I was given a challenge by a female friend of mine to write a riposte to a thing she wrote on her blog. She said and I quote:

"There was a time ( a long loooong time ago) when a guy wants to meet a girl, he actually MEETS up with her, face to face and all. but now... Mister-no-Ballsy can just send an SMS without the girl actually knowing him."

I must say that technology has done a lot to advance the way we communicate with our friends. What was once a realm of fiction is now very much rooted in reality. Video chats, push-to-talk, blackberries...those are the mediums readily available to us, all you have to do is ask which provider offers you the best deal get the mobile phone that supports it and bam, you're off.

But with any advent of new technologies comes the inherent drawbacks associated with the misuse or misappropriation of such a device or medium. As you can clearly see from her quote above, men these days have become much more detached in their courting routines. What was once a pantheon of achievements (buying flowers, writing her home number on your forearm, giving you the flyng birdie..) has now been downsized to 15 cent sms-es. If she doesn't reply it probably means she's not interested. If she replies, then it's all go bro.

Unfortunately ladies, correct me if i'm wrong, but 'certain' men have been doing these kinds of things since the dawn of time. Before SMS, they would've IRC-ed you the typical question of "Hey, a/s/l? (age/sex/location)", and before IRC they would mail you 'secret admirer' letters to your office or home address. These days with SMS and MSN, you've got a whole new realm of detached courting which may or may not work in your favour.

But for some people (who are inherently shy) it works. Maybe the guy didn't want to call you, because he knew you wouldn't pick up a call from a complete stranger. You could reject a phone call.

But you can't reject an incoming text message can you?

"I called back, then that person introduces himself, told me he got my number from my friend. when i asked who that friend is, can u imagine what his rat-assed reply is? " Errrmm, I forgot la your friend's name.."

See? Now this boy is just looking for trouble. He doesn't seem to be forthcoming, and in pretending to forget who your friend was, made him sound ultimately sleazy as well. So my best advice to you is to blow this guy off. Wait, that didn't sound right.

I meant, tell him to go fuck himself.

But as a general rule of thumb, if a guy sms-es you, that doesn't mean he's cheap. He's probably just shy. What better way to start the courting than to do it discreetly through a non committal text message? If you decide to give him the brush off, at least he'll understand in a way that will probably be rationalized by his own terms and logic.

It's easier to move on if you got jilted through a text message, than it would be if you were told in no uncertain terms that your gardener had a better chance of slipping into your pants.

A way a guy courts a girl is entirely dependent on the individual. A text message, a flower at your doorstep, a 10 page long email, a weekend in Singapore, a house in the Hamptons...there are no guidelines. Everybody's different. It just depends on you, and how you take it.

I'm sure if the guy YOU fancied gave you a missed call, you would without a doubt in your mind, call him the fuck back.

It only becomes a problem if the guy was someone you couldn't even put a name to his face to save your life.

So give us guys a break alright. We got our own fucking problems too.

But that, is a whole 'nother story.

Nites people, i've got two parties to attend to. Lots of lovely, lovely women.

:)

Sacrifies...

had a nice long chat with my dear friend, Tiar in my room with a cup of TEH tarik...made by moi!!... about relationships, sacrifices, the past, and our own experiences... Well...Tiar was in town for couple of days and she came with her mom for some business trip...

Relationships in general are a blessing... One are made for another... No person in this face of this earth is capable to be alone, even though they claim to be "independent" or not married because they dont need another person in their life to make their lives easier... But actually they are totally wrong... They are dependen to others really...maybe they dont realised it...but they do.. Having friends is a relationship... Having a family is a relationship...if you chose to be alone... then what is this life for?!?... why God created Adam and Eve?....

Having a relationship means a lot of things...Not only love...but also sacrifices... when we are single... we tend to do something that we pleased.... something that whatever our hearts want to do... and what ever we think its right...even it was wrong to do so... But...when u are living or with someone... We cant do something we want to do freely...because it involves another heart...another emotion...another life... There's no other way to avoid sacrifices...Its for you to accommodate to ones' life...and to yours....

Love does come with a price... No im not talking about money or anything...but Theres always something you gotta change in yourself.. some dreams you've dreamt of need to be changed.... It doesnt mean you cant achieve your dream...but..its a diversion that we need to take... the path wont be straight anymore... as long the diverted path leads to the destination we're heading...

I've read the book The AlChemist by Paulo Coelho twice and it doesnt bore me but it actually motivates me... Its about a shepard trying to achieve his personal legend, which is his dreams to find treasures underneath the Pyramids... He could stay and become a shepard and get married to a merchant's daughter and be happily ever after.. but he choose to follow his dreams... He got robbed, almost get himself killed, worked for a merchant and also became the Khalif (some well known scholar) in the Oasis...He never failed to follow his dreams even though many obstacles of life try to divert his way... and at the end..he didnt get his treasure...but he got to see his Pyramids tho..and also..gained experiences that a shepard couldnt have experienced...

For me... Sacrifices are not that bad... We could planned our life...but we cant plan the path of our journey we planned.. its just the way of life... To cope with this kind of life is...to enjoy every moment you are in life... thats is how u experienced stuff.... dont be too rigid to life... flexible and enjoy them to the fullest... its just the way it is... Its not wrong to be in a comfort zone when we planned our lives...but would it be as exciting as the unplanned life?!.. there are consequences that we will face and i will write about it later.. Uncertainties...

Till next time

iDAN

Beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder.

You know the saying. You've tried your very hardest to tell yourself that superficiality isn't one of your many vices. You argue incessantly on the sanctity of falling in love for the right reasons.

Bet you pinch yourself silly everytime you see a hot girl pass you by though.

"Bet she's high maintainence," is the regular response you'll receive from mates around you. You nod while you mentally undress her. And her friend.

Who are we kidding anyway? Just because a girl is hot, doesn't mean she's a bitch. Just because a girl has legs up to her ears doesn't mean she can't duduk bersila like the rest of us. Just because a girl wears a bikini doesn't necessarily make her a slut. We rationalize these things because it's supposed to make us better. Yeah right. It just makes us idiots.

The adage that women fall in love with their hearts and men with their dicks, isn't a gospel. I've seen many a girl fall for men who are horrible at relationships, but they stay on simply because their 'man' looks like a poster boy for last season's Manhunt. They argue that attraction is a very vital ingredient in any relationship.

"Look, it doesn't hurt if the guy is good looking, besides he might even have a great personality." said one girl.

A typical feminine response is one of eloquent discretion. They sprinkle some emotional element here and there as to not appear blantantly superficial. But boys, they obviously are just as superficial as we are. If not more so.

"Dude, i've gotta show my ex that i can do way better than her," is a typical male response IF he's just gotten out of a relationship.

"Dude, look at the legs on her. Bet she can row a boat with those pair. Personality? Dude, who cares about personality when her legs can....ooo there it is again.." is the typical male response. Every.Single.Time.

To be frank, beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder. Nine times out of ten, beauty is in the eyes of the 'audiences' around you. Your friends, colleagues, cousins or even strangers. We all want recognition.

"Eh, you think my boyfriend cute or not?" I've actually lost count on how many times i've heard that statement.

Usually, out of respect you'll never say no. But if it's a random guy she's pointing at, you'd blab faster and harder than Martin Lawrence on a rampage.

"No-lah, he looks like a kapal karam (sunken ship)." And that would probably be the end of it. She'd never look at him again and move on to the next poor sod. My point is quite simply, that no matter how good or bad that person looks, you should never under any circumstances, ask how your friend thinks of him/her.
Because everyone has their own opinion. One man's poison could possibly be another's Hot Peri-Peri.

So people, forgo all your shabby, unrealisitic standards and live up to one of zero expectations.

Fall in love with your eyes closed because you never know what you may hit. Maybe you'll hit a Dodgy Looking Jack or maybe you'll hit even hit a flower pot. But maybe, just maybe if you believe enough...you may hit a jackpot.