Find Yourself

"When you meet the one that you've been waiting for,

And she's everything that you want and more,

You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else,

And then you find yourself, that's when you find yourself.

You go through life, so sure of where you're headed.

Then you wind up lost, and it's the best thing that could've happen.

Cause sometimes when you lose your way, it's really just as well.

Because you find yourself, you finally find yourself."

Brad Paisley, Find Yourself

I drove to nowhere tonight with a friend.

We talked about how different our lives could've been had we played the hand that wasn't dealt.

This part of the song come on the radio just as I had dropped her off.

As I sat there in the dark, I smiled to myself.

And wondered how it would've been, had I given up early and gone to bed instead.

Thanks for making me stay up so late.

You made me smile.

Yes you did.

And now i have a warm fuzzy feeling.

I kinda like it.

Under the Sky...

I read Ed's last post 'Across the Bridge' and it stirred something like most of his pieces do... But I suppressed it and lol at the description of the new world order.... i chose not to look beyond the words and see a man caught @ an awkward space where the surrounding are all too familar but fit less with what lies on the inside...

so to answer the question 2 guess for where i am... i say you are under the sky my brother...

for whether your experiences are 400 km from home or a million that is what i see/feel to... guys getting hi5's and slaps on the back for the number of women the can be with each week.... guys counting scores over drinks at the bar and working on the next conquests... like well versed businessmen they lay out plan and scenarios to lead eventual success...

and i feel it strange ... you know like an outsider not understanding the joke of the season or the new secret handshake that includes you to an exclusive club...

so i stand outside the clubhouse doors and i watch the unfolding events with a confused yearning to understand how the world around me wound up like this.... errm for lack of a better world 'remix'....

my gaze shifts to the other players in this game where rules change faster than gears on a well oiled e-Gear paddle up-shifting.... its takes 2 to tango? that too is relative to individual choices and governing laws but suffice to say with the right influence you have your very own Broadway concert that infuses every dance genre under this sky...

hmmm i thought i was going to finish this but i guess not... ill leave this hanging and probably finishing it at another time.... hopefully COMMON (1 of my greatest inspirations) can sum up of what i was saying... he said something i agreed on some months ago and i closed my eyes and put up my fist (refer to the pic) and though it gets hard sometimes this song does say what my heart wants my head to know....

and after writing this post i wonder why i am single haha sweet irony...



"FAITHFUL..."

I was rollin' around, in my mind it occurred
What if God was a her?
Would I treat her the same? Would I still be runnin' game on her?
In what type of ways would I want her?
Would I want her for her mind or her heavenly body?
Couldn't be out gettin' bogus with someone so godly
If I was wit' her would I still be wantin' my ex?
The lies, the greed, the weed, the sex
Wouldn't be ashamed to give her part of my check
Wearin' her cross, I mean the heart on my neck
Her I would reflect on the streets of the Chi'
Ride wit' her, 'cause I know for me she'd die
Through good and bad call on her like I'm chirpin' her
Couldn't be jealous 'cause other brothers worship her
Walk this earth for her, glory, I'm grateful
To be in her presence I try to stay faithful


He worked with her, she was his lady's best friend
Even if they don't try some ladies test men
And this was a test that was bigger than him
Some believe its the nature that is given to men
He had a good gig, a wife, a kid, a decent home
One reason or another couldn't find peace at home
She asked, "Why do men always have to stray?"
He said, "I'm bad, not as bad as Eric Benet"
"I used to take 'em out to eat but they wasn't really eatin'
Mighta got a little head but I wasn't really cheatin'"
It's hard when your lady don't believe what you say
And what you did in the past you gotta live with today
She asked if they could spend the night together
He thought, and said, "I'm tryin' to get my life together"
Went home to his lady, these were his confessions
"Baby you a blessin' and my best friend"

Across the Bridge.

So here i am sitting on my pal's comfy little Ikea couch, tap-tapping this post on his machismo laptop, 400 kilometres away from home. In a country where the idea of monogamy is as silly as speaking Mandarin to a Bangladeshi.

Everyone here seems to thrive on the fact that being loyal to just one woman, is the wrong course of action. "No man should ever be tied down to just..one woman." said a friend.

"Who've you been fucking lately?" is another typical response if you said you do believe in the sanctity of monogamy.

As usual, the answer to that question would be one of utter modesty.

"No one."

Then the room would instantaneously burst into laughter at the sight of a childish, inexperienced Malaysian lad, who didn't know that the grass over here, is indeed much, much greener.

I find it entirely amusing that (over here at least) reckless shagging is a form of sport. So, where (as the song clearly states) is the love?

Like Tom Cruise said in his interview with Oprah (yes, THAT interview), I don't like flings. I'm very into relationships.

Give that response to the boys over here and you'd get a solid toasting.

They'd say you're 'GAY' in a heartbeat.

Then they'd BEAT you up.

Alas, love is a commodity that is traded so easily on the marketplace these days that the value is sadly misrepresented.

Oh just to point out, men aren't the only ones acting this way over here.

Or as one Australian lady pointed to us (quite distinctly too, I might add) - UP here.

Two guesses for where I'm in right now.