City of Blinding Lights

I was given a challenge by a female friend of mine to write a riposte to a thing she wrote on her blog. She said and I quote:

"There was a time ( a long loooong time ago) when a guy wants to meet a girl, he actually MEETS up with her, face to face and all. but now... Mister-no-Ballsy can just send an SMS without the girl actually knowing him."

I must say that technology has done a lot to advance the way we communicate with our friends. What was once a realm of fiction is now very much rooted in reality. Video chats, push-to-talk, blackberries...those are the mediums readily available to us, all you have to do is ask which provider offers you the best deal get the mobile phone that supports it and bam, you're off.

But with any advent of new technologies comes the inherent drawbacks associated with the misuse or misappropriation of such a device or medium. As you can clearly see from her quote above, men these days have become much more detached in their courting routines. What was once a pantheon of achievements (buying flowers, writing her home number on your forearm, giving you the flyng birdie..) has now been downsized to 15 cent sms-es. If she doesn't reply it probably means she's not interested. If she replies, then it's all go bro.

Unfortunately ladies, correct me if i'm wrong, but 'certain' men have been doing these kinds of things since the dawn of time. Before SMS, they would've IRC-ed you the typical question of "Hey, a/s/l? (age/sex/location)", and before IRC they would mail you 'secret admirer' letters to your office or home address. These days with SMS and MSN, you've got a whole new realm of detached courting which may or may not work in your favour.

But for some people (who are inherently shy) it works. Maybe the guy didn't want to call you, because he knew you wouldn't pick up a call from a complete stranger. You could reject a phone call.

But you can't reject an incoming text message can you?

"I called back, then that person introduces himself, told me he got my number from my friend. when i asked who that friend is, can u imagine what his rat-assed reply is? " Errrmm, I forgot la your friend's name.."

See? Now this boy is just looking for trouble. He doesn't seem to be forthcoming, and in pretending to forget who your friend was, made him sound ultimately sleazy as well. So my best advice to you is to blow this guy off. Wait, that didn't sound right.

I meant, tell him to go fuck himself.

But as a general rule of thumb, if a guy sms-es you, that doesn't mean he's cheap. He's probably just shy. What better way to start the courting than to do it discreetly through a non committal text message? If you decide to give him the brush off, at least he'll understand in a way that will probably be rationalized by his own terms and logic.

It's easier to move on if you got jilted through a text message, than it would be if you were told in no uncertain terms that your gardener had a better chance of slipping into your pants.

A way a guy courts a girl is entirely dependent on the individual. A text message, a flower at your doorstep, a 10 page long email, a weekend in Singapore, a house in the Hamptons...there are no guidelines. Everybody's different. It just depends on you, and how you take it.

I'm sure if the guy YOU fancied gave you a missed call, you would without a doubt in your mind, call him the fuck back.

It only becomes a problem if the guy was someone you couldn't even put a name to his face to save your life.

So give us guys a break alright. We got our own fucking problems too.

But that, is a whole 'nother story.

Nites people, i've got two parties to attend to. Lots of lovely, lovely women.

:)