"Good Afternoon Mr. Eddie, Welcome to Hilton KL."

Without sounding unabashedly pretentious, I must point out that i'm no stranger to Hilton Kuala Lumpur and this tale i'm about to bestow upon you, my lovely internet readers is one of implicit arrogance, but not in deliberation I must say. So, on with the story.

Hilton KL may be 'the' hotel in Klang Valley these days but I've had spats of biblical proportions with the Valets there, argued over the finer points of what a reservation entails at the pompously decorated and even more pompously named Iketeru and this one time even accidentally went into the ladies'. It was dark - I saw the sign wrongly.

So you can understand my 'reservations' when it comes to Kuala Lumpur's most glamourous hotel. I wasn't a big fan of their services, that's for sure.

At least until yesterday that is.

You see, it was lunch time so a friend (he's a writer here as well) and I had decided to give Hilton a shot since it was the only hotel that was within a stone's throw from our previous engagement.

As I pulled up to the hotel, I was surprised at how the valet went all out of his way to give me a parking spot that I, on many occasions quite literally put up a fight for. Probably it was the car. Probably he'd just gotten laid. Who knows.

As i stumbled out of the car, he asked for my name. Which I have to say is a first. No valet has ever bothered with my name, regardless of the car(s) I happened to be commandeering.

My friend and I scoffed at how the valets treat regular people in regular cars. We brought up the typical Malaysian argument of, "Oh had we strolled up to the lobby in a Proton, the valets wouldn't even bat an eye."

I suppose it's true. We should've taken the CLS 350 instead, they'd probably fight for a chance to 'move the poles' blocking the parking spots.

The reason I'm bringing this topic up in Men Are Here instead of my own blog is simply because, in my mind relationships are viewed in exactly the same manner. A good looking guy gets away with more than just murder, he'd also get away with your girlfriend. Or mother.

If the good looking guy also happened to be dressed in RM, he'd get away with Murder, your Mom and your Mercedes. The truth is ladies no matter how much you pride yourselves in falling in love for the 'right reasons', 8 times out of ten, you choose the ones who fit snugly into the category i mentioned above.

Superficiality rules. You know it, I know it. It's shameful to admit the truth, but it's better than living a lie.

Look, I do believe in 'true love'. True love may be fantastic, but how long does it actually last? A year? Two at the most?
See how true your love is after reality steps in during the third year and you're behind on your mortgage payments, your kids are wearing clothes which wouldn't be out of place in a circus show and your in laws are complaining that you don't give their daughters enough TLC. That my fair friends, is the reality behind the beautifully drawned up curtains.

"In the first year, the husband talks and the wife listens. In the second year, the wife talks and the husband listens. In the third year, they both talk and the NEIGHBOURS listen."

That may be a tad satirical but it is true.

But what if that man you married carries with him not just a bank balance the size of Arizona but a lovely getaway home in St Barts, a yacht for the weekend and a private jet to 'fly' your troubles away?

Exactly. That's what happens in real life. We all treat power & money in the same way. Adulation, reverance and widespread envy.

Unless you're that person. Or married to him.

The valet at the Hilton is an obvious example of how the 'illusion of power' moves (in this instance) parking poles. The world around us is filled with men who brandish their women with money in a stark representation of 'ownership', and women who brandish their men with 'love' so they could get more 'money', another stark representation of 'receivership'.

As I walked out of the cool airconditioned lobby, the doorman asked me,

"So Mr. Eddie, I hope you found your lunch satisfactory?"

I was too full to answer, so my friend replied in my stead.

"Extremely." he said, as he pat his 19 inch tummy. A gesture of pleasure.

I only had one thought in my mind as the valet removed the shackles blocking my exit. How did the 'doorman' know my name as well?


Exactly.

We Ain't Chicken...We're just shy...

Well...its not that We're chicken...but sometimes, men can be some egoistic being...

Some might just say... "I'm not THATT desperate to get a girl now" or " If she digs me...she will ask me out..."....Thats what I meant ...But i know a few people who would rather sayy.."Well...will she likes me?!?!?!....What if im not the ONE!!???"... Or...he might say "I just need time to "learn" about her" and so he learned...looking at her from far far away and would be doing it so for daysss!!.... Buttt....he just couldnt admit he's shy... Another EGO speaking!!...

So....whats wrong with GUYS not asking her number or asking her out in that matter?!?... why does it be sooo hard for us to approach a girl!?!?... I can tell you why....Some of us (even in MEN ARE HERE writters) are scared of being rejected!!... Or some of us wanna be gentleman!!... Like a Malay saying " belum cuba belum tau!!" and when u got to know that she really likes you...you'll be too late...coz shes now going out with another guy who is more brave than you...

It takes a huge courage to go up to a girl and ask her out...or her number.... And i always looked up on these guys!!... And GIRLS fall for "brave" men... but to those who didnt pursue...he would say "well...dah tak jodoh...dah nak buat macam mana?!!??"..

For me... I think..theres nothing to loose... Just ask the number...if she doesnt respond...fine...thanks so much!!.... but if she do responds... than..its your lucky day!...but...if you wanna know a girl , with a good intention... it will goes right...but..if you wanna get someone to play with...then...well..i dont know what to say..... =P

I did asked a girls name and number but i didnt do it obviously.... some people would take it as a lame pick up line....but it did worked!!... I didnt asked her name and number straight..but..i asked her whether I've seen her in Subang Parade...and yups..i Did saw her there... and at first..she responded to me as if "who the hell is this guy....and why is he bothering me"....but i told her..."I saw u in Subang Parade and I think i saw u quite often there..do u live around Subang Parade???"...then she just said a one answer question..."YES"...and i replied "ouhh...cool...i thought I've seen you before.....no wonder you looked so familiar...well..i"m staying around there too...so...what course are you studying in the UK???..." and She replied the question and she asked me back the same question... and i said..." ouh..im doing my final year in Mechanical Engineering too..."...then i said.." ouh well...I got to go...see you around"... then... I said..."ouh..by the way..im SHERIDAN"...instantaneously she replied " I'm (blank due to privacy of the person..i might get sued if i write her name down)" and I said..."ouh..ok...nice meeting you..." and i left..... But she called my name back agian...and asked for my number!!... i was like...whoaaa!!...yups..whooaaa!!...And i gave her mine..and she gave her number to me...

But i dont ask her out..but i gave the number to my fren who admire her!!....

So...whats so hard of getting a girls number!???..its all up to you... whether you want or not... Girls loves brave guys...they would be flattered if a guy goes up to them and ask her out... even the guy doesnt have any FITNESS FIRST kinda body or BRAD BITT face... Just be yourself...be brave.... and you'll get the girl you've always want...

Not letting a girl know how you feel is something else...If you're a friend or know her....and you have feelings for her....tell her how you feel....if she responds..then shes yours...but if shes going out with someone else....dont despair and regretting why she didnt picked you up...maybe theres a sign...you might get someone who is beettter than her...but if shes going out with soomeone else...then be gentleman...

Hmmmm.... more on this later i guess?!?....

So...we are not chicken...we're just scared of being rejected...and men's ego is sooo huge...shed some ego's guys!!...

..and here, the sequel of the entry below..

Eddie put down 5 biggest mistakes men do with women.. I think it's time for me to happily pen down my reply, or should it be err..added infos on women? Oh well, be prepare for my first ever posting here.

After years of experience... you guys should already know this...



1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do. Believe me, they do.. Dont sneak in and thinking of giving them a surprise, you will be surprise, or.. just get a slap from them =p

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud. Women do have their own 'special branch', not just the Polis Diraja ok. Be aware!

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. Most of em' will wait. Yup they wait.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

--8.5. If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.

--11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a MAN (man, this sounds like what Russell Peter said LOL), pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or t-shirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the crap out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so ngokngek" or something, never make any gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms or friends...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like crap, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne.

- -27.5. But do wear it, girls love that

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Raya or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

31. Don't ever do anything wrong (well not anything). Girls remember things for life and anything you did wrong will be used against you in the future.


I guess that's all for now. Anyone want to add up more?






and as per usual in my personal blog, I always end it up with a lighter note. So here it goes....


How elephants french kiss .. LOL

Five Biggest Mistakes Men Do With Women

Originally published on Seduction Insider, written by Jackson Morris.

Mistake #1 - It Speaks
More women complain that men never come up to them and make a move. There are millions of gorgeous women online right at this moment because they have not met anyone. When I date, women always say, "I am glad you asked me out, guys never approach me."

Fundamentally gentlemen, there is no piece of ass out there that is going to fall into your hands without you asking for it. Another complaint from women is, "Only the old guys hit on me." Well good for the old guys! The older cougars out there know about the first part of this segment and also have accrued enough confidence through life that they have no fear of failure. So walk up, speak up and say, "HELLO".

You never know when you're flirting with a girl how bad she wants you to speak to her, she is not supposed to tell you, and you are supposed to know. The word "hello" is actually understood in over 40 languages, if you cant say it in your native tongue of English, then you won't be getting any tongue.


Mistake #2 - Do What You Say
Women are like camels when it comes to sex, they can go without for quite a while. They give the guy every opportunity to screw up first before they take a drink of water. One of the most obvious and most accountable places is "word of mouth". Even the gabbiest broad will remember everything coming out of your pie hole. If you tell a girl you're "never late", then you better never be late, they have a memory like an elephant and will remind you what you said verbatim. If you say have certain goals, those are only impressive if she sees you follow through with them. Don't make empty promises. Don't make promises you can't keep. Don't make statements you can not live up to. Don't make unnecessary commitments. Don't make promises in bed after sex! Underpromise & Overdeliver!


Mistake #3 - Honesty is the Best Policy
Never ever lie! A million men, including my editor are probably shrugging their shoulders and rolling their eyes, and I will still stick to my guns. Women want to know the hard truth, and it is not your job to "guess" what you think their reaction will be to your "baggage". If you have a kid, don't hide it, if you got arrested in the 70's for selling weed, then tell her that too. Having a bit of mystery to you is different then you telling her you work at Boeing when you actually work at Wal-Mart. She might dig Wal-Mart, but if you lie, she will not tell you squat. Don't downplay anything or make it less significant than it is. If you have a blemish, don't tell her it is a pimple when you know it is Herpes Virus Simplex-1.


Mistake #4 - Secure vs. Insecure
Women know the difference when you're a braggart and when you're proud. Proud is a behavior that is confident and strong based on history and experience and earning your wings. This is emulated in patience, generosity and sense of humor. The braggart always has something to prove and gives his "resume" constantly almost competing with the girl for attention. There it is, if you are a confident man, you will be giving attention, if you are an insecure man you will be competing for it. You do not have to have multiple accomplishments in any field, if you are a "real guy" with real confidence and little insecurity, she will know.


Mistake #5 - The Deal Breaker
You better be a good kisser by now, if not you might as well have a billboard over your house that says, "Lousy Lover Lives Here!" Learning how to kiss is simple, once you get good she will take you to bed, I promise. If you don't want to buy a book on kissing, then remember this, K.I.S.S. - Keep it simple stupid. The best lesson I ever got on kissing was, "do everything the girl does". If she barely opens her mouth, then you barely open your mouth. If she only gives you the tongues tip, then you do the same. If you don't know, then literally mock what she is doing. This will also turn her on because it will tease the hell out of her. If you don't learn to kiss, then you're fucked, oh wait a minute... no you're not.


Conclusion
Now you know what the land mines are that she has placed for us. We know now that if we want her we have to talk to her. When we talk to her we have to be honest, confident and follow through with what we say. If and when we get to kiss her, take nothing for granted and start by kissing her the way "she" kisses. Lastly, don't forget how great you are, she would not be giving you the chance if you weren't.

Monogamy

I think I have lost faith in the sanctity of love and the monogamy of relationships. I just can't psyche myself anymore. Half my friends are either trying to date someone who is already taken, or being the frisky one cheating on their significant other(s). A year ago, I would've gone on lengths on how bad it is to feel cheated by someone you love so very dearly. Today I stand proud and tall (lol) as living proof that even the best of us get shot down. At first I was angry, hurt and confused- I didn't understand how love could have been twisted into such an unrecognizable, vile piece of shite. It took me a while to fully comprehend the gravity and complexity of such a situation.

You see,love is blind to colour, race and religion. You don't know who you'll fall for and when, the only warning you'll have is when your heart starts beating wildly and you pespire in places you never knew existed. You know that it's pretty whacked out then cause you're in love. That's pretty normal I know, but what if you were already in a relationship? What would you do?

The sensible option is to mentally refrain yourself from thinking about that girl who made your heart sing like a parakeet on combat power. Unfortunately that just delays the inevitable. You'll still think about her, you'll still wonder how it would be if you'd taken the plunge and many years later as you lie half naked in bed with your wife who you fight constantly and can never agree on anything, you ponder if...had you taken a different route, would you be any happier?

You'll never know. Look, I'm not an advocate for the cheating brigade. I'm just telling you the reality that surrounds us right now. We're not kids anymore, and people are becoming more picky with who they end up dating, simply because we deserve the very best for ourselves. Why buy a Brioni suit if you can't even find a partner that comes close to your taste in clothing?

Your partner need not be gorgeous with a hot body stapled on some money and mansions. He or she, just has to be right for you. I don't know what the criteria for rightness really is, but I'm pretty sure you all know what kind of people you'd end up being with without me telling you the obvious reasons.

Ladies, listen up. The world is now in your court just as much as it was in ours. Men used to be the primordial cheat, with a dick for a brain and a brain for a bum. However, these days you girls are just as dicked up as we are. Isn't it fair game now? You play with our hearts as though it was an Xbox video game, and when you're over and done with, you just click the reset button and hope for the best.

It doesn't work that way. It never worked when men tried to perfect this routine since the beginning of time, and ladies..I'm pretty sure it won't work on US either.
Men these days are just as in touch with their emotions as the most soppiest, hindustani watching lady. Why can't we just work together? If you like someone whilst your dating another man, decide which you'd prefer to be with more, and take a shot. Even if you were to fail, you can resign in the fact that you did it in the right manner, without hurting another party in deliberation.

And that is what I call making a mature and rational decision. It doesn't matter if you're a big man, or a teeny tiny girl, we're all human, and we all feel pain and we all make mistakes. You just have to know the distinctions, and how you can use them to improve yourselves.

All the best in your ventures in the new year.

Cheers.
Ed