"I'm sure i was told..the rule of the road would be all i found."

"So tell me, what if the girl you've been waiting for suddenly becomes available?"

I shrugged and answered, "That's a big if."

I told him i can't wait for someone who might or might not be available. I have someone right now who was willing to take the plunge with me. Why should I bet on a horse with odds greater than a hundred to one?

It usually never happens.

But what if it did, was written all over his face. Even before he could ask me that question I gave him an answer.

"Well, she's the one that I want. I really wouldn't know what I'd do. She makes me smile, all my friends love her. Even you like her."

Then wait, he said. You never know how the odds would turn out in a week, month or year from today.

This conversation took place a little over a month ago. I started dating someone else during the passing of that month. Yet, I never forgot our little 'chat', or the opportunity cost forgone.

The people who know me still ask me, "Are you happy with this girl you're currently 'seeing'?"

I answer quite frankly, "I am happy. Just not contented. But when are we ever contented anyway."

But the other girl will always be in my heart and my thoughts. She's been on my mind ever since. In many ways, I suppose it's time for me to let go. I've got a good thing going for me right now, and sometimes you just can't see a good thing even when it's smack bang in front of you. I'm selfish, but everyone's who's ever been in love has been nothing but.

The only problem is, she never knew. Probably never will.

Neil (Mira's cousin) told me before he left for England that I should,

"Just tell her. Her response to your confession isn't as important as you being honest to yourself about it. Don't keep beating yourself up over something that might or might not happen. Get it off your chest, know wot I mean?"

Yeah Neil, I knew what you meant. I just needed some time to grow up a little bit more, and worry a little bit less.

A whole lot lesser.